Dakota

I’ve always loved dogs.
It’s almost like they understand me,
and I understand their need and desire to be loved.
Chew is my best friend.
I tell him everything, although not in words.
When I feel happy, upset or just plain down,
I go and sit with Chew.
I don’t have to talk,
I can sit still
and let my higher power speak to me in the stillness.

When I was young I was told
I was adopted from Canada,
that I’m Mohawk Indian and French Canadian.
Indians believe in spirit guides and so do I.
I feel that certain dogs trust me
because they know
I have the Wolf spirit by my side.
The wolf is the teacher,
the pathfinder
and moon dog of my soul.

Patty - I am From…

I am from Barbie dolls and baseball bats,
I am from Girl Scouts and basketball,
I am from PTA
to NA and AA,
I am in Glory House
from living on the street,
I am from being half a person
to being whole again.

Mary - Today I am Proud of Myself

Life isn’t fair, but we have to learn from it.
I used to be a beautiful mother.
But when I was using I was nobody.

Before, I was on the street drugging.
I was smoking all day and all night,
hanging out with prostitutes.
My sister told me: “you will not be nobody”.
When we feel nobody loves us, we feel lost.

Today I am doing the right thing.
Getting a new foundation for life.
Finding myself by myself has given me power.

Today, when I look at myself in the mirror,
I laugh.
I am somebody:
Jesus loves me.
I love myself.

Today I am proud of myself.
I am a powerful woman.
I hold my head high.

Linda

First I took pictures of the flowers when they were very small and about 2 weeks later, when they had grown. I did that because they remind me of myself: when I got clean this time I was very immature, but now I feel that I’m growing each day, learning about myself, trying to please myself and not others. Like the flowers.

Fifi - I am From

I am from a broken family,
from hallways with a foul stench,
buildings with broken elevators.
Had a lot of good friends there:
Shannon, Troy, Malika, Charlene, Danielle.
They were supportive,
helped me with money.
We shot the breeze,
went to concerts,
but, mostly,
we drank.

Dakota

The next photo shows my half of the room. I share this room with another resident here at Glory House. At first I was not sure I would make it here. I was very reluctant to be here, however I was used to structure from being in prison. My problem was being able to trust others. My whole being had became hard in prison because I had to fight to get respect and show that I was not an easy mark. Today I can be myself not the inmate locked up like a caged animal. I lost the hardness that I had to have to protect myself. I found a higher power that is loving, and understanding. I found a new strength here at Glory House. I found a safe place or I should say - a safe place found me.

Betty - Why am I here and what is my journey

My life and mind have always been in a spin,
like a tornado.
Don’t know where I’m going,
but I know where I’ve been –
I’ve been through a lot in life
that shouldn’t have been.

Who knows what I’ll be doing?
Why am I still here?
What is my purpose on earth?

I search for a magic carpet
to carry me to my higher place,
and slip me wings
so I may soar like an eagle
through the soft clouds of heaven
and feel them gently touch my cheeks
with their soft kisses of love
on my journey to finding
my rainbow of happiness
on the other side.

Is there such a dream?
Maybe some day I'll find it
through the hands of God with His love for me.

Mary

I love my book, the lion book* Whenever I’m depressed or sad, when I think of my mother or my children I read it and it makes me laugh. This is a funny lion, like when he says: “I like the word hunter. I’ll go get me a hunter”. And if somebody asks me who I am laughing at, I say I am not laughing at anybody; I’m laughing at the lion.
I read over and over the parts that I already know, and when I get to a word that I don’t know, I just skip over it.
Sometimes I ask someone to read with me but they always say they’re busy, or they pretend they’re busy. Today I have this half cup of coffee. I think I will give it to Joan. Maybe she will read with me in return for the coffee. Or I can try and catch her when she is smoking a cigarette outside. Maybe then she'll read with me.
*Lefcadio/Shel Silverstien.

Annette - I chose to take a picture of an abandoned house

I chose to take a picture of an abandoned house
because two years ago when I was drinking,
I lived in an abandoned house.
I had abandoned myself and my life.
I didn’t care where I lived.
All I needed was to drink.

A guy named Dave let me stay
he wanted sex,
I didn’t.
He got mad and threw me out.
I was on the street again.

You can’t go any lower
than getting kicked out of an abandoned house.
Now, I can laugh about it,
Then, I hit rock bottom.

I asked God for help.

I also took a picture of Glory House.
It is my sanctuary,
my safe house,
my home for now,
my home away from home.
I am safe,
I have a warm bed,
I can trust everybody.
I can call if I fall.

I don’t want to remember
that other part of my life,
but I have to so I can remain sober!

Linda - I picked a picture of myself

I picked a picture of myself at a Mother’s Day gala,
I actually like how I look here.
I see happiness within myself.

For a very long time I was depressed,
I didn’t like myself,
I wanted to take my life.
I didn’t tell anyone
so they wouldn’t talk me out of it.
I was scared.

Started drinking at 15.
Drunk, I felt carefree.
A false sense of security.
I never felt right inside my body,
I know now it was from mental illness.
Always trying some substance,
looking for the “right” thing.
My husband introduced me to heroin.
It numbed me.
.
My life in the past 15 years was crazy:
lost my father, my husband.
I used all the time, never dealt with issues.
I liked not being able to feel,
not having to deal with issues in my life,
like being sexually abused by my grandfather,
like mom’s mental illness,
frustrated because
there was nothing I could do to help her.

Now I am starting to grow,
starting to get to know myself.
No longer numb.
Happy I didn’t take my life.
I have forgiven the people who have hurt me.
But it isn’t easy dealing with issues of my past.
It was easier using.

Glory House has given me back my life,
has given me a life.
I am smiling.

Patty - Tired

I was confused, falling apart,
feeling like a failure;
I felt alone, didn’t believe in myself,
had no hope;
I was going nowhere in my life
and I was tired -
tired of drinking,
tired of doing drugs,
tired of not working,
tired of not having enough money,
tired of feeling bad about myself,
tired of not being able to see,
tired of just being tired.

Now I am no longer tired
because I came to a place called Glory House.
Now I have people that I can call friends -
they believe in me and give me hope.
I go to my programs and am proud of myself
because now
I can be a better mother to my kids.
I believe in myself
and I am no longer confused.
Now I can see again.

Natalie - This is a picture of my newly acquired tattoo

This is a picture of my newly acquired tattoo,
a cross with a butterfly in the middle,
and in the 4 corners it says:
Only By God’s Grace.
I waited so long to get a tattoo.
I wanted it to have meaning, a story behind it.

I remember…
laying in a fetal position
on the cold concrete of a gas station,
excruciating pain.

I remember…
wanting so much to be out of pain,
wanting someone to make it go away.
I wanted to die.

I remember…
the pain,
not noticing how cold and wet the ground was
waiting,
waiting for an ambulance
yelling at the sky: God, please make it stop!

In the emergency room they decided to discharge me
again
as they had done a week before.
The drug levels in my blood were so high,
they thought I was expendable.
“There’s nothing more we can do for her”, they said.
“She’s bleeding on your floor”, my boyfriend said.
“You’re very lucky he came with you”,
they told me after the surgery:
ectopic pregnancy, internal bleeding, severe blood loss.

I believe God puts people in situations for a reason.
If my boyfriend wasn’t there…
If he hadn’t come…
I wouldn’t be sitting here today.
It was meant for him to be there.
Only By God’s Grace.

The butterfly in the middle symbolizes
a new beginning.
It is an excruciating process to become a butterfly,
an exhausting process.
It isn’t easy,
it takes a lot of work,
but to become that butterfly
I must work on getting out of the cocoon.

Joan - Where I'm From

I’m from cement stairs in the front and in the back,
making me wonder what I am:
am I a child or am I a woman?
Depends on the day and who I’m with.
What a crazy way to live!

These stairs are hard and cold,
as is the family and their hold on me,
so that at times I wish that I were not here at all
but in a far away place,
far, far and away
from the crazy place I am living in now.